Puppies Are Puppies: Why We Shouldn't Expect Them to Be Perfect

“Don’t make a rod for your own back.”

“Start as you mean to go on.”

“Don’t create bad habits.”

These are phrases we hear all the time when talking about puppy training—online, in books, and in person. I heard them myself when I brought home my first puppy. And, on the surface, they sound like good advice, right? After all, we want a well-trained dog, so setting high standards from the start feels like the best way forward.

But here’s the thing—is that really the most effective or compassionate way to raise a well-behaved and confident puppy?

Imagine Raising a Baby the Same Way

Let’s compare it to something most of us can relate to: raising children.

Do we “start as we mean to go on” with babies?Do we put them in their own bedroom on day one and let them cry themselves to sleep, just so they’ll learn independence early?Do we ignore their cries for comfort, food, or a clean nappy because we’re afraid we’ll “spoil” them?

Of course not.

We recognise that babies require more care, patience, and physical closeness than older children or adults. We give them what they need in the moment, because we understand they’ll grow out of those needs as they mature. We don’t expect a toddler to act like a teenager—and we certainly don’t panic if a two-year-old still needs help using the toilet or throws a tantrum when they’re overtired.

So Why Do We Expect So Much from Puppies?

Puppies, like babies, are still developing. They don’t come with an understanding of our human world. They chew, they nip, they have accidents in the house, and they cry when left alone. Not because they’re “naughty” or being difficult, but because… they’re puppies.

Somewhere along the way, we’ve started to expect puppies to behave like well-trained adult dogs from the moment they come home. And because they grow so quickly, there’s this unspoken pressure to get everything “perfect” right away: toilet trained by 12 weeks, no more biting by 16 weeks, loose lead walking by 5 months.

But here’s the truth:

👉🏼 Toilet accidents at 3 months are normal.

👉🏼 Biting at 5 months is normal.

👉🏼 Clinginess, chewing, whining, and overexcitement?

All totally normal.

These behaviours are not signs that you’ve failed as a dog owner or that your pup is going to grow into a “problem dog.” They’re signs that your puppy is still learning. And just like with children, learning takes time, guidance, and a whole lot of patience.

Puppyhood Isn’t Forever—But It Matters

It’s easy to forget just how short puppyhood is. In a matter of months, that tiny, clumsy, teething pup will start to look and act more like an adult dog. And yes, you can—and should—teach them useful life skills during this stage. But trying to raise a perfectly behaved adult from day one is unrealistic and, honestly, unfair.

We wouldn’t leave a toddler unsupervised in a room full of sharp objects and hot stoves, then shout at them when they try to explore. Instead, we child-proof the space. We create safe environments and slowly teach them what’s safe, what’s not, and how to interact with the world around them.

It’s the same with puppies. Instead of “starting as you mean to go on” in a rigid way, think about meeting your puppy where they are, not where you want them to be. That’s how trust, confidence, and long-lasting good behaviour are built.

So What Should You Expect From Your Puppy?

Expect some accidents.Expect some chewing.Expect some barking, biting, and bouncing.And most importantly—expect that it’s all part of the process.

Your puppy isn’t supposed to behave like your neighbour’s 10-year-old black lab or your friend’s 6-year-old cockapoo. Those dogs were once chaotic little puppies, too.

So give your pup the grace to be exactly what they are: a puppy. With time, consistency, and positive training, they’ll grow into the well-behaved dog you’re dreaming of. Just don’t rush them to adulthood before they’ve had a chance to enjoy puppyhood.

Because puppies are puppies—and that’s exactly what they should be.